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Can a Feminist Be in Love with a Man? Breaking Taboos

Can a Feminist Be in Love with a Man? Breaking Taboos

Published Oct 24, 2024 Updated Oct 24, 2024 Culture
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Can a Feminist Be in Love with a Man? Breaking Taboos

Is this even a valid question to ask? The question itself implies the assumption that feminists are exclusively women and that there’s something inherently wrong with a feminist woman falling in love with a man. I’m not even going to delve into feminist men who support gender equality – that's a different conversation.

Would you date a feminist? Is she the most dangerous woman in the world?

If feminism were a widely accepted, well-understood concept that simply defined a political, social, and cultural movement advocating for equal rights for women, life would be much easier for many feminists today.

But no, it hasn’t been easy.

The relationship between feminism and love has been a surprisingly under-discussed topic in ideological circles. This lack of dialogue has led to the unfair stereotype that strong women who fight for women’s rights are somehow deprived of love and care from men. It seems that a healthy relationship between feminism and love has become almost incompatible in the eyes of many.

Put simply, people often assume that a feminist is someone who dedicates her whole life to women’s rights because she couldn’t find a man to love her.

Some even go so far as to compare feminists to a "femme fatale" or even a prostitute, revealing just how little they understand about feminism.

Let’s look at some examples from everyday conversations:

  1. Are you a feminist?
    Yes, why?
    Ahh...
    Yeah.
    So, you don’t like men?

  2. You have an attitude. You must be a feminist. Be prepared for a life as an old maid with cats.

  3. Please don’t scold him, he’s a man. Whatever he does, be sweet and innocent. Just keep quiet and pretend.

  4. If you’re a feminist, you must have had a lot of bad love affairs, right?

  5. Are you going to be a bitch as well?

These examples show how misunderstood feminism still is, both by men and women. Men often think feminists are uncontrollable, wild souls who refuse to cook or wash dishes and should therefore be avoided. Women, on the other hand, may think they should be feminists because they’re fed up with men after dating a series of jerks, and now they justify being "man-haters" by calling themselves feminists.

There’s something deeply wrong with these assumptions. I’m here to highlight that a feminist can be a completely normal woman – she’s not necessarily an "iron woman," not necessarily a rape survivor, and not necessarily a plain Jane. She’s a woman who cares about her own problems as well as the problems of other women. And yes, she can also want a loving, fulfilling relationship with a man she loves!

Is this really so hard for men to digest?
Is this something to gossip about behind her back, ladies?

While many men distance themselves from women who identify as feminists, some women continue to discriminate against their own kind, ridiculing the efforts of feminists to bring about gender equality. This harsh truth is rarely talked about.

Let’s dispel the myth that only "feminine" men like feminists and that "masculine" men want nothing to do with them. A real man should have the courage to accept that his girlfriend or wife is not his doormat.

Every woman should be a feminist because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Feminism isn’t terrorism. Women should be encouraged to date men who support women’s rights, and men should be respected for choosing women who stand for equality.

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Comments (4)

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Charitha Liyanage 28 days ago

Thank you for your kind words! Have a great evening.

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Jackie H 28 days ago

Wow... so this old cliché about feminists being frustrated women is still around... I used to think that the world had long grown past it but I have to admit that the world has fallen backwards in its respect for women these last two decades - and no, I'm not talking about Afghanistan (although it's true that some things have to be said about what happens there, too).

Yet it's true that as you rightly point out, some women don't exactly help, either. It may sound a bit too easy to put once again the fault on women and to revert to this other old cliché about women being mutual rivals and best enemies, but it's true that some among us don't exacty support the cause and are even the first ones to sabotage it. "Conservative revolution" might have something to do with it...

It's true that some women feminists in the very old days were caricatural and that some still are today, but they are a few crooked trees obliterating a forest of beautiful, straight, majestic ones 🙂

(updated)
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Charitha Liyanage 28 days ago

Unfortunately, I come from a part of the world where the term itself provokes strong reactions. It’s not just men—women too have openly expressed their reluctance to identify as feminists due to this irrational fear. The idea of women truly supporting other women through genuine sisterhood remains a long-term, ongoing project.

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Jackie H 28 days ago

I see... There are many ways to "fight" and we have to use our strategies according to local terrain... there are many ways to promote good ideas 😉 and women are reputed around the world for being good strategists, so let's use our natural strengths !

And don't think that things are way better in my part of the world... the issues may be different but there are some, too !

Strength to you and our sisters over there in Sri Lanka 💪🏻🤜🏻👍🏻🤝

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