(I am referring here to non western-european friends, as Turkey is also part of Europe)

or

How can we be better at intercultural communication by starting to be better friends.

Yesterday, out of sudden curiosity, I asked a question, to my Chinese friend, about censure in China. She answered patiently and then manifested a disappointment. I made her upset, and I didn’t understand why.

She was expressing her love for certain bookshops in Beijing, filled with cats and interesting books; all this wrapped in a nice atmosphere. Me? I put on my western shoes, and step into this conversation by bringing the censure question, which was unrelated to the whole subject. It’s not the first time we talk about censure, so what is the issue?

“It’s hard to show the rest of the world that we’re not just what you read in your media.”

She told me. And this sentence resonated in me, and brought back memories.

Let’s rewind here.

This story is the first that made me question myself on this matter. I was in the wrong but couldn’t understand why.

How I once asked my Turkish friend if he had a birthday date. (Yes. I know. But let me give you some context.)

2017 — Erasmus — Spain.

My German roommate’s dad is from Turkey. She explains that he doesn’t know the real date of his birthday. So on his ID card, 1st of January is written as the official birth date. She says it’s the case for many Germans that are born Turkish. I think “oh, that’s a curious fact about Turkish people that I didn’t know of”.

Of course, as a journalist student, full of curiosity, interest, and other adjectives we all relentlessly repeat during job interviews, I need to know more. I HAVE TO ask the first and only Turkish person I know: he is cool, he is my friend, I met him between 2 vino riojas; he’ll tell me for sure.

“What kind of persons do you think we are in Turkey?”

Oops.

“Of course, I have a birth date! I am born.”

Why is he so mad?, I think. I am just interested in his culture!