Fear of starting

I'll keep it short and sweet!

This is my first time writing something like this. I have no experience and I've always loathed writing — especially my native Portuguese, a language rich in its history but full of weird gramatical rules! (I can explain why in another "interesting" thought dump.) For now, I want to write about a specific feeling: the feeling of wanting, and not wanting — of isolation.

Growth within the fog

Not sure if you ever felt this, but sometimes I just want to grab a plane to Iceland (a topic that will surely come up again) and get a house (though that dream feels nearly impossible), somewhere surrounded by mountains, nature, and fog! In our current very noisy, hate-filled world, this fantasy has become a recurring refuge in my mind. Not that I want to be alone, well maybe sometimes, but I want to escape to a place where the noise can't reach. A place where a magical fog shields me from the current events.

Iceland has always seemed like the perfect place to do just that. Not that it's immune to the state of the world, but it feels far from it. When I look at its foggy mountains — isolated, silent, beautiful — one can almost forget, one can almost stop. Pause. Let go of the constant internal noise, the critical machine in my mind always trying to sort out what’s true, what’s fake, what’s good, and what’s bad.

Maybe I just want to find myself, focus on me and my growth. After all, who the heck am I?! I think we all need some time to figure ourselves out.

Thank you for reading my first ever random thought!

This random thought was brought to you by Sigur Rós, and Iceland!

Photo Credit: Pixabay